Goal Setting
(Insert *extremely* cheesey, over-excited radio announcer voice):"Hey there... Mr. Hockey Player! Are you in need of a milestone goal, assist or some other record? Have you been waiting to add that league-leading point to the record books? Well, you're in luck! The VANCOUVER CANUCKS have reserved you a seat in history with their GUARANTEED RECORD-SETTING GAMES! That's right! No matter what record you are trying to set, the Vancouver Canucks have made dreams come true for more hockey players than ANY OTHER TEAM! Just listen to some of our satisfied customers!"
(Cheesy announcer): "Let's start with Ray Bourque!"
(Ray Bourque, sounding very stiff, like he is reading lines badly): "I - had - a - great - time - in - Van - coo - ver. I - never - thought - setting - a - record - could - be - so - easy."
(Cheesy announcer): "Doesn't he sound excited? Thanks Bourque-y! Now how about SUPER MARIO!"
(Mario Lemieux, sounding very stiff, like he is reading lines badly): "Van - coo - ver - is - like - a - second - home - for - me - after - I - set - my - all-time - goal - mark. Thanks - Ca - nucks."
(Cheesy announcer): "You don't have to tell me twice... he's SOLD! And finally, the GREAT ONE, mister WAYNE GRETZKY!"
(Wayne Gretzky, sounding totally normal. In other words, very stiff, like he is reading lines badly): "I - set - 3 - NHL - records - in - Van - coo - ver. I - remember - each - one - of - them - like - it - was - yesterday. Thanks - Van - coo - ver - for - making - my - hockey - dream - a - reality."
(Cheesy announcer): "Well, who can top that?! If you are waiting to sign your name in the Hockey Hall of Fame, just send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Brian Burke, c/o Vancouver Canucks, 1000 Griffiths Way, Vancouver BC, V6B 2R5 and include a picture of yourself, the milestone you want to hit and the puck that you want to use. In no time, you'll receive your official letter of recognition, and your milestone will be reserved for your next visit to Vancouver! IT'S THAT EASY!"
(Cue cheesy music with cheesy backup singers): "Vancouver is the city... the Canucks the team... You can set your record... You can live your dream!"
(End)
(Cheesy announcer): "Let's start with Ray Bourque!"
(Ray Bourque, sounding very stiff, like he is reading lines badly): "I - had - a - great - time - in - Van - coo - ver. I - never - thought - setting - a - record - could - be - so - easy."
(Cheesy announcer): "Doesn't he sound excited? Thanks Bourque-y! Now how about SUPER MARIO!"
(Mario Lemieux, sounding very stiff, like he is reading lines badly): "Van - coo - ver - is - like - a - second - home - for - me - after - I - set - my - all-time - goal - mark. Thanks - Ca - nucks."
(Cheesy announcer): "You don't have to tell me twice... he's SOLD! And finally, the GREAT ONE, mister WAYNE GRETZKY!"
(Wayne Gretzky, sounding totally normal. In other words, very stiff, like he is reading lines badly): "I - set - 3 - NHL - records - in - Van - coo - ver. I - remember - each - one - of - them - like - it - was - yesterday. Thanks - Van - coo - ver - for - making - my - hockey - dream - a - reality."
(Cheesy announcer): "Well, who can top that?! If you are waiting to sign your name in the Hockey Hall of Fame, just send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Brian Burke, c/o Vancouver Canucks, 1000 Griffiths Way, Vancouver BC, V6B 2R5 and include a picture of yourself, the milestone you want to hit and the puck that you want to use. In no time, you'll receive your official letter of recognition, and your milestone will be reserved for your next visit to Vancouver! IT'S THAT EASY!"
(Cue cheesy music with cheesy backup singers): "Vancouver is the city... the Canucks the team... You can set your record... You can live your dream!"
(End)
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