Looking for the
Irish Band: Alistair?
Find them here
Okay, so I lied. But
SOON dammit!
August 23, 2000
Well, not too many people read this site anymore, so I guess not too many people are disappointed! I think I have to do something about changing that.
Anyway, I do actually have a site in progress, and I am near finished, so check back often, you might even be the first to see it live.
If you're bored, check out the Weekly World News' front page that changes each Monday.
Change is coming...
April 23, 2000
Holy crap! Has it been that long since I did anything on this page? I definately have to carve out more time for myself! Frankly, I can't believe you are reading this.
Okay, so what is this "Change is coming" thing mean? Well, I have a grand plan to overhaul this web site in the near future. I know, I know, you've heard me say that before...just look around. Do you think I WANT this page to look this bad? No, I actually designed it ugly so that I'd have reason to want it changed.
So here's the deal: I'm in the process of change and I hope to have a nice, new site up and running sometime in mid-May. Cross your fingers.
Got any ideas? If you have any ideas that you'd like to see in the site, please let me know.
Happy New Year!
I remember when I was a kid in Northern Onterio (Fort Frances for all those who care) thinking about how old I would be in the year 2000. I'd be 32 years old!
I remember thinking that was so old! I'd be retiring about that time. Year 2000 seemed so far away, and so alien to the 19xx format we've been using for a hundred years or so.
Year 2000 seemed so incredibly distant, like a horizon that you'll never reach. I mean, Y2k wouldn't come until after my favorite show - Space 1999!
Anyway, it's hard to believe it's actually here. Let's see how it turns out.
New Orleans - Day 3 (Dec.10.99)
Still having a really good time, enjouying the conference a lot and looking forward to the next one. There were a lot of great speakers, great subjects and great activities. I would reccommend the Builder.com conference to anyone who makes the Internet their career.
The last day had one less presentation block, to make time for a keynote by Dan Shafer (editor of C|Net), which was quite well done. He invited people to come up and voice their opinions about the conference, to which a number of people replied. There was a number of good suggestions, a few mediocre ones, and a couple of real stupid "I like the sound of my own voice, and I want other people to hear it over the PA" suggestions.
The rest of the day I walked around the French Quarter, did quite a bit of work in my hotel room (I love this laptop!) and talked to some friends. I was quite tired by the end of the day, so I hit the sack early and walked around New Orleans for the day on Saturday. There was quite a lot to see...the photos should be ready by Tuesday or so.
Now I just have to brave the New Orleans-Dallas-Vancouver flight home. I hope they don't lose my luggage like last time.
New Orleans - Day 2 (Dec.9.99)
Well, day two was a little more star-studded than yesterday, and I have the photos to prove it!
Now this is going to come across as extremely geeky, but I got to meet two people that I have an enormous amount of respect for. The first one was Jakob Nielsen, who is referred to as the "Internet Usability Guru". He is a great speaker with a lot of insight on the way Web Sites are designed, and makes us all think a little differently. He has a site called useit.com where he writes a bi-weekly column called Alertbox on Web Usability. I have been faithfully reading it for almost 3 years now. Check it out!
The next was Randal L. Schwartz, a very prolific writer and evangelist for Perl. I have been programming with Perl for almost 2 years, and though I am a beginner/intermediate Perl hacker, I am very familiar with Mr. Schwartz. He is one of the most approachable people on the net who will give you direct, personal answers to questions. Being so well known, he must either sleep 2 hours a night or type 200 words per minute. He gave a rapid-fire discussion of some cool uses for Perl that had a wide area of effectiveness.
I managed to get a picture with each of them, and talked to each one briefly. They were both very friendly and seemed genuinely happy to talk to a complete stranger.
I'll post the pics when I get them developed (yeah, I know, no digital camera...yet).
Other than that, it has been an interesting day in the conferences, a lot learned so far. Tonight there will be a gathering at Tipitinas, a local bar in the French Quarter. Should be fun!
Well, I better get going, I have to finish doing the laundry. Yep, the hotel actually has coin-op laundry facilities!
E-mail me your address if you want a postcard.
New Orleans! - Day One (Dec.8.99)
This year's C|Net Builder.com Conference is being held in New Orleans, Louisiana and I am lucky enough to be attending it. I have been here for one full day of the conference so far, and it has been an unqualified success!
I have enjoyed all of the sessions I have attended and learned quite a bit in the process. I am looking forward to two more days of XML, Site Design, Process Planning and Implementation, Start-up to IPO, and a lot of other great sessions.
Currently I am sitting in 'The Nerve Center' which is a small conference room with 24 Win2000 PCs hooked to the net via a seriously fast connection. I haven't finished my handy-dandy Remote Content Publisher (RCP) yet, so I have to actually hand-code the HTML and add it to the page you are reading.
However, it is a great idea that allows me to check my mail (there are even 4 network drops so that you can use your own laptop).
That brings up another subject close to my heart: My work finally got me a laptop! I am now the proud owner of a Toshiba Tecra 8000 that has a hot-swappable HDD, CD-Rom and external floppy. It also has an internal 56K modem as well as a 10BaseT Network connector. It is quite thin, low-profile and powerful with 128MB of RAM. With NT4 and Win95 installed as a dual boot, it is a Web Server when it needs to be and a general purpose laptop the rest of the time. Awesome!
Well, I better get up to the room so that I can change...Burbon Street is calling!
Alistair: The Band
Could this be any cooler? A band named
after you? Well, a group of lads in Ireland with the name Alistair now have
a Net presence, and we agreed that I'd link to their home page.
To find out more about the band Alistair,
click here.
PC Easter
Yes, there are little eggs hidden around
my apartment for all the computers to hunt for, it's PC Easter.
My PC was resurrected from the dead
yesterday after 5 agonizing days in the outer ring of hell. Only barely
able to walk at first, it got up to 400MHz speed in no time.
It appears everything is intact, but
I still have my suspicions.
Moral: Backups are good.
Tragedy!
Sometime in the early morning hours
of October 30th, 1999, my PC passed away.
I am currently sitting in my office at work, sadly updating this page.
My computer appears to be completely hooped, and it looks like it could
cost some small fortune to repair!
So, I guess I can be happy that my site is hosted at an ISP rather than
at home, in which case you wouldn't see this anyway.
If you send me e-mail, I might take some time to respond. Beware.
And weep for my poor PC.
This site has been changed to be really basic and nerdy looking so that
I would have some incentive to change it. I had been using my site design
for far too long. It was ugly. Look away!
Okay, so here I am. Basic Site, I need a revision. I'll get on it when
I can. Get off my case.
Browser sniff:
The webcam
is here!
Visit
from hell
September
10, 1999:
Is my family
the result of punishment for past lives? If so, I must have been Attila
the Hun.
I visited my brother, who, for all intents and purposes, is the reincarnation
of some really bad person. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow or something.
It's just too nasty to write about.
It all
ends well, right?
August
11, 1999:
It's amazing
how the fragility of life eludes our daily thoughts. I go to work, kayak,
swim or work out without ever thinking about if I'll ever see my friends
again. I never consider losing a family member when I am at work, reading
a book or hacking at my computer.
It isn't until it blasts you in the face that you have to stand up and
take notice that everyone around you will die eventually. While this might
initially be a melancholy subject, I choose to see it is a way to appreciate
those that are still here.
Specifically, I am talking about my mother. She came very close to being
a statistic a few weeks ago.
Driving home from work one day, a family friend noticed what she thought
was a blanket in the opposite lane on the highway. She slowed down and
saw what she realized was a hand.
Parking her car in the path of oncoming traffic (there is very little
where my mother lives), she ran to her home to summon the ambulance. My
mother was transported to the local trauma center.
Her situation was marked as "critical" with lacerations to the head
and face as well as undetermined internal injuries. There was deep bruising
of her shoulder, arm and torso.
In the middle of the night the phone rang a number of times, but I didn't
answer it. I don't generally answer the phone between midnight and 6 AM.
When I finally checked the machine, there was a number of messages from
my brother saying that my mother had been admitted to the hospital in
critical condition.
Living 600 miles away, I felt completely helpless. The hospital refused
to give me any information and my brother was not at home, nor was he
at the hospital.
My brother, not known for his attentiveness, wasn't giving updates to
anyone in the family, leaving us all in a near state of panic. Each call
to the hospital became more urgent. The receptionist finally stopped answering
any requests for information on my mother's condition. She told me that
I would have to contact my brother, as he was the legal "Next of Kin".
When I tried to explain to her that he wasn't home and therefore wasn't
able to get the reports himself, she said "Well, I'm sorry." and hung
up.
After 14 agonizing hours without an update to her condition or whereabouts,
I finally got information on her condition: "Serious". She was no longer
considered to be in danger, although she had not regained consciousness
yet.
I decided to drive up there and see what was going on for myself. I
had never been to visit, as she liked making the trip down to my city
(Vancouver) instead.
It's very beautiful in the interior of BC, lots of green, lots of mountains
and big blue sky. The drive up was quite nice.
When I finally arrived, she had been transferred out of emergency to
Intensive Care. She had regained consciousness and was bossing all the
nurses around. She looked terrible, but her spirits were fairly high.
She had so many tubes and wires swirling around her bed, she looked like
a character from one of my favorite movies; Brazil.
I stayed in the interior for 3 days, watching her get better slowly.
She still can't remember what happened and the doctor's don't have an
opinion either.
The police ruled out a car hitting her as her injuries didn't match
such an impact. I don't know what might have happened, but I think she
must have been clipped by a car or abducted by aliens.
But she's alive. It ends well.
And Justice
For Al July
6, 1999: I
have to get a filling replaced. One of my molars (which consists mostly
of mercury-oozing amalgam) needs to be replaced, as a cavity is forming
near the bottom of the filling. It hurts when I eat hot, cold or sweet
food. I understand the replacement is going to be ceramic, so it'll look
more like a real tooth. The problem
is: I'm terrified. I am so scared
of the dentist that I have a hard time controlling my nerves even when
I'm there for a checkup. Well, today I'm booked in for two hours
worth of dental joy. The procedure
was explained to me thusly: "We're going to drill out the filling
that is there (which is the majority of the tooth), drill out any cavities,
set your tooth with the ceramic, and you'll be done."
They neglect
to mention:
As my good
friend Jeff likes to say in his trademark whimpery tone: "Hold me!" But a strange
justice to it all: Dentists have a higher suicide rate than any other
profession. Do they raise their hands when it starts to hurt? Does anyone
pay attention? A New
Toy! July
2, 1999: Yes,
I got myself a webcam just the other day, thanks to eBay. Check out my
apartment or whatever else it is pointed at... Creasing
Time: A Perfect Pleat. June
15, 1999:
Why do certain memories stand out in our minds? I'm not talking about
The first time I (insert experience here), or I had a really
close call when (insert near-death experience here), or even I
saw/met/caught/did (insert essentially unbelievable story here). Their
purpose serves to remind us of the dangers of driving too fast or of jumping
off balconies that are a little to high, or that our lives are interesting,
unique and sometimes exciting. No, I understand why these memories stand
out. I'm talking about the fleeting images of our past that pop into our
heads inexplicably, without invitation. How do distant,
but very ordinary, memories stand out so vividly in our minds? I can't
remember my postal code half the time, but I have vivid, life-like memories
of days past. This past
weekend, I went ice-skating without my hockey gear on, a humbling experience.
It was an exercise in overcoming fear. I got onto the ice and realized
that I had no protection, nothing to cushion my fall. As I am an average
skater at best, falling, at least once, was a likely prospect. Throughout
the session, I skated along just fine, conquering my fear of no hockey
gear. I fell once, but nothing major and my skating improved. After about
an hour of skating around, everyone was ushered off the rink so the Zamboni
could reset the ice surface. At that moment, I had a flashback-like recollection
of me walking past an outdoor rink in Fort Frances, Ontario, a town I
used to live in. I was walking past one of the rinks, watching kids play
hockey, yelling for the puck, communicating through enthusiastic taunts
and calls. It was a typical neighbourhood game of shinny, one which I'd
seen many times. But this memory, clear as it was, lacked something: it
had no discernable purpose. I have been
skating many a time since that day, seen a million Zambonis smooth the
ice and seen at least that many kids playing hockey on frozen ponds. But
why did I remember that particular day? A similar
event happened to me a few months back. I was seeing someone off at the
airport, when I was deluged with images from a night when, as a child
in the back of the car, my mother pointed out the window at the moon.
I don't remember why or how this had anything to do with the airport (it
was 2 o'clock in the afternoon). It was amazing. I could see the moon
so clearly in my memory, the light clouds that drifted past, the streaks
of light it cast on the window closest to me, even the smell of the red
vinyl interior of the car. It was so clear. But it didn't have any meaning.
What made me think of it? Even as I
sit here, I can think of answers to a math quiz I took in Grade 7. I remember
my teacher, Mr. LaRoque, demonstrating how fractions are added. I looked
down at my test and saw that my answer to one of the questions was 7 1/4.
I have no idea why I am recalling that now. It seems
like certain moments in time crease the ever-growing landscape of our
memory. A place that you trip over when thinking about nothing in particular.
I guess our minds are just giant relational databases that have a few
broken or misplaced links. I'm sure the psychologists and neuro-specialists
could outline exactly how it all happens, but it wouldn't
explain why. And talking
with my good friend Derek about this subject, both our grandmothers experienced
a degenerative mental state that caused them to believe they were young
again. My grandmother lived the last few weeks of her life believing she
was a young woman, living in her home town of Sapperton. She would talk
to my uncle (her son) as though he was her brother. It was eerie. Derek's
grandmother was transported back to Finland and, as a consequence of that
belief, stopped speaking English altogether. Initially,
I felt sorry for them as I thought of their tenuous grasp on reality finally
released to memories of a younger time. But I wonder, can being old and
frail be all that much fun? Maybe when I'm ancient and cranky, I'll be
sitting in my chair thinking of days by the ice rink. Low Web-Esteem: A Motivator June
2, 1999 I look at my website a lot, especially because of all the
kooky things I have running here. In fact, I am likely the most frequent
visitor to my little home on the web, returning often to see if anything
is broken yet. I don't think of my
site as ugly, but it certainly wouldn't win any awards for design or content.
This wouldn't be a concern, except that this web-thing pays all my bills.
I eat, buy things, drive my car and have clothes to wear all because
of the internet. So you'd think I'd have a fantastic site full of bleeding-edge
interactivity and super coolness. Unfortunately, no. I just don't have time
to sit at home and craft a site replete with beautiful graphics, inspiring
content or even useful links. I was just fortunate enough to reserve my
own domain, and use it as my own little experiment. But when I start surfing
around other people's personal sites, I do so with a clutch of fear in
my guts. I see others of a similar ilk and realize: I'm not doing my
job! Shouldn't my site be
an accurate representation of my abilities? Shouldn't I be contributing
to the betterment of the web and of web design? After my time of low
web-esteem, I have decided to overhaul this sorry excuse for a website.
Below are some of the sites that caused me to make such a decision. After all, it's how
I afford to have this page here. ratbastard.org www.sapphireblue.com www.chunk.com And more Star Wars: The Phantom
Afterglow NEW!
May 21, 1999 With the help of a few friends
of mine, I managed to get tickets, line up, fight for seats and watch
the show. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, but it wasn't as bad
as it could have been either. I was blown away by the special effects,
especially the spacecraft that they jaunted around in. There were scenes
in the movie that I'll want to see again, just to watch all the CGI. Here is my simple formula
to predict your satisfaction level with the film:
May 13, 1999 Seems as though not everyone
is so positive about Star Wars: Phantom Menace. Wired Online's Colin Ferm
wrote a scathing review of the highly anticipated flick. Read it here NOTE: There are no spoilers in the review, but there are descriptions
of some of the characters and scenes. Posters
NEW!
May 13, 1999 Resource
NEW! May 13, 1999 Elements of my Site. Cyberbeastie Catnames Elliot the Cat Scottish Gaelic It was so popular that the Gaelic Society of America decided to link
to it from their home page! See it here. Email
me!
Click here to see a list of browsers
that have visited this site.
Rants. Adventures of Textured Cat Protein are a worthwhile
diversion.
Personal and real, this site makes you friends, but keeps
you interested.
Sometimes sad, always thoughtful.
They're here somewhere...
If your favorite
film was:
Then you'll:
Star Wars
be indifferent.
Empire
hate it.
Jedi
love it.
Here is the original Star Wars poster
that was released.
See the adjusted version here.
If you are interested, www.starwars.com
has some pretty cool stuff about all of the movies, including Episode
I.
Okay, so it's a silly name, but I didn't make it up. A UK site called
Technosphere has created a virtual world containing herbivores and carnivores
that interact with one another and their surroundings. You can create
one and watch as it grows, eats, sleeps, mates, attacks, gets eaten, has
kids, whatever.
A long time ago now, a friend of mine sent me a list of about 6500 cat
names. I found myself scrolling through the names, and thinking some were
quite funny. Deciding that I wanted a fast way to bring up a name, I wrote
a little CGI program that did it for me. It's the Random Catname Generator,
and you can see it here.
Speaking of catnames, Elliot is the name of a certain kitten who is very
near and dear to me. He belongs to the same friend that found the catname
list, and is a fine young kitten. See pictures of him here.
I found a giant list of Scottish Gaelic words and their definitions, which
I wrote a search engine for.
If you have any questions you want to ask, or you'd like to rail against
my site, let me know.
